Mindfullness training

I’m on my lunch break from a learning and development course called Mindfullness in the Workplace.  Here are all the reasons why today is not the day for me to be doing this:

First day back at work after six days at home alone suffering from virus-induced vertigo – wanted to come to work and be distracted from my internal shit rather than confront it

‘Internal shit’ includes addictive compulsions being triggered big time by vertigo’s intense similarity to shooting up drugs and the treatment including Stematil, one of the trio of detox drugs

Training include multiple exercises where we close our eyes and breathe during which I panic about vertigo attacks making me fall off chair/vomit

Polynidal sinus on my spine hurts because it gets inflamed every time I get sick and laying on my back makes it hurt like a mother fucker

I’m being asked to share emotional pain  and vulnerability in a professional setting

Deep breaths for part two. I’ll think carefully before signing up for something like this again.