I don’t think most people understand how much trust it destroys when you tell survivors of nasty shit that we need to speak nicely to be heard.
Speaking nicely didn’t stop the bad shit happening to us and it won’t stop bad things happening to other people.
Our anger is justified. Our grief is justified.
Your discomfort with hearing it comes from your fear that the same bad things could happen to you.
So please stop shushing us.
Sit with your fear.
Hear our anger and pain.
Once you tone police a survivor we never trust you with that vulnerability again.