Today we are talking about going no contact with your family and how to use that as a transformative tool.
This one does get a bit brutal and includes discussion of child abuse, including sexual as I reflect back on the deaths in 2020 of my step-father, aunt and mother. I describe the costs and benefits of cutting off an abusive family with the reminder that there are no winners in this game.
By going no contact are are taking back the power from our abusers. This can be an exceptional tool for change and recovery, but only when used carefully and with reflection.
I remind us all that when we cut off parents or caregivers because they are dangerous, we then need to make sure we become our own caregivers. We need to process these decisions and consequences constantly, making our needs a priority.
If you decide to go no contact with your family, please be prepared to constantly question your choice. Just because you need it now, doesn’t mean you’ll always need it. Nothing is permanent until they are dead.
If you have found this one difficult, please reach out to someone.
Your safety matters more than your abuser’s feelings.
What they did to you wasn’t okay. It wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have stopped them.